Plan to fight the funk

I have been in such a major funk...food/weight/band wise, work-wise, general demeanor, etc. I know that it is all intertwined but it is definitely not a great feeling. Not being happy with work, and working so long that I don't sleep is a start, and then with the lack of sleep, I become very emotional, and leads to eating. The past two weeks and certain instances have shown me that this is indeed a journey and something I continue to have to fight and push against. I will not turn back and give up everything that I have worked so hard for. Eating a box of bon bons in one sitting (mistake one is buying the bon bons)...that was the old me...It didn't make me feel better or heal anything. I have to continue to fight that destructive behavior.

Part of me wonders if I got too much taken out in my unfill, but the other part of me thinks that I really need to focus on my healthy eating..Jacque did a great post about being on a diet and that the band is a tool. I really need to use this tool but I need to hold up on my end of the bargain, including making smart decisions, eating because I am hungry and eating slowly and healthy. I have lost 115 pounds but have really been in a standstill over the last month. I want to continue going and restart after this plateau.

Anyways, I am not where I wish I was at this point, but I'm going to push through. In thinking about how to get out of my funk, here are some of my thoughts/plans. I think having a new goal will be good for me and get me motivated and competitive. I am flying home to ATL on July 1st, and then my mom and I are going to Anguilla for vaca until the following Monday (to say I am excited is an understatement...ahh!! we are splurging but deserve it!). As of tomorrow, there are 18 days until I leave for ATL...between now and then, I would like to lose 10 pounds...now that is a lot right now, especially how slow I have been losing, but I would always rather try to reach as high as possible. I feel like if I really focus and think about what I am doing though, I could make it. In terms of my plan and some things I want to make sure to do/avoid:

*Drink 64 oz of water a day...i have been so bad about this and in the days/weeks I have done it, I feel so much better. TMI, but it also really helps in terms of going to the restroom
*Eat balanced, healthy meals..no pizza, nachos or chinese (yes, I have had all three of these the past week). Also, really focus on portions and eating slowly
*Frozen Yogurt only once per week...i have gotten into this habit at work where I have fro yo every day..(where we have 4 different soft serve frozen yogurt machines) ..I need to get back to it being a treat vs. an every day thing.
*Avoid the afternoon/mindless snacking...no 4pm chips or candy bc I'm bored or frustrated...if I am hungry, I will eat a string cheese, a yogurt, some almonds or a 100 calorie cracker pack
*Exercise three times a week (plus pilates)

These are just some of the things I need to do/be focusing on but all of these are doable and will be steps in the right direction. I really want to do this and get a lil jump start back on track. The band decision is the best thing I have ever done, I have lost a lot of weight and am very happy with what I have done..BUT, I am not done...not only from a health perspective, but I am also not where I myself want to be....I realize there are bumps in the road but I'm ready to move forward!

Unfill has led to some old eating habits

After a hellish week of work last week, I left early on Friday and got an unfill with Dr. K. Having literally not slept on Thursday night (horrible I know), I fell asleep on the exam table waiting for Dr. K so when she walked in and had to wake me up, I was very out of it. I had been getting nervous about all the stuck and PB episodes I was having so I thought I would get a lil bit taken out. She took out 0.2ccs...let me tell you I feel like I have no restriction. I keep wondering if she took out more by accident. Over the past week I have eaten like CRAP...way too much food, mindless eating, not following proper band rules. What the past week brings to light is that the Band is a tool, not a solution. I have to hold up my end of the bargain and that I must consistently fight through mindless and emotional eating. I still do wonder if perhaps I wasn't too tight and was just not eating properly or following band rules, but I decided I need to actually use this unfill to eat nutritiously and balanced as I really had not been eating "well" to feed my body the nutrients it needs. At the same time, I need to do a lil digging to make sure that I am being healthy and mindful and working the band...I have come too far to slip back into old habits and I want to continue on this journey and succeed!