Fessin' up to the blues and looking towards the sun

So it has been quite awhile since my last post...definitely a very strong correlation between my mood/spirits and the amount I blog.
These past two weeks have been very tough for me...After an amazing two weekends in a row with my Mom, it was just so tough to see her go. As I have said before, my Mom is my absolute best friend and we just have such a blast together. I don't do things with her because she is my Mom but because she is someone I love to be with, have fun with, am so comfortable with. We are so much alike and are just two peas in a pod. If I am blessed with children one day and am 1/4 of the mother she is, I will be doing great. Anyways, between her leaving, some frustrations at work, some tough family news and horrible hormones (I mean absolutely horrible, like no other month in recent history), I have been very blue and a bit of an emotional roller coaster. It got to the point where I called in sick on Friday because I needed a mental Health Day. I was supposed to have lunch with my boss to celebrate my promotion but I was just not mentally up for it...I'm definitely starting to feel better but it was tough to feel so emotional and blue over the past two weeks given I have generally been feeling so positive and optimistic given this journey (both physical and emotional) journey I have been on. A year ago, these feelings were part of my every day life as I was very depressed..I guess one bright spot of the past two weeks is to realize how far I have come from one year ago and that those feelings came and went versus held me down..Needless to say, I have not been blogging..I have been reading nightly, but I have been lurking and not commenting...this week though is a new week!!

Now, onto some brighter and better...I did not eat my emotions away, which continues to be a good thing for me. I definitely had tremendous cravings but managed them ok (note OK, not well). One thing though that I have definitely noticed is I have not necessarily been eating great.. Dinnerland did a great post about getting back to basics, "working the band" and following the "rules."...such a great reality check. While I have actually lost weight (the scale for the spring challenge was down 5 from last sunday...definitely helped that I was sooo bloated last week..hard to say it is true weight loss as much as unbloating but I'll take it), I think I am not doing in as healthy a way as possible. I definitely believe everyone has their own journey, their own plan that works best for them...At the same time, I know what I should be doing and what works for me. Don't get me wrong, love seeing the scale go down but substituing nutritious, small meals for candy as a meal is just not healthy. luckily this is not a constant event but definitely has been more prevalent over the past two weeks. I am very big into calories and find that works best for me, but I must remember that not all calories are equal. plus, as this is a lifestyle, I must really focus on the overall nutrition and what I am actually putting in my body. I have good days where I definitely focus on protein and nutrition and I need to make these happen more often. I have harped on this before but I also need to SLOW my eating and chew chew chew...I do great out to dinner or in social situations..not great at home and only so/so at work..I think I get tired and lazy and that won't work..i know I can do it and just need to focus as if I am out to eat.

On the exercise front, have not done great but also picked it up a bit this week. Went to the gym three times and did pilates. Have continued spinning (i.e. gone 3x..). Still not loving it but also want to stick with it and I hope that it will get easier and more enjoyable as I do it. Have continued with the C25K program..am very behind but determined to keep going with it, whether I run the road race at the end of April or not.

I don't think I am going to reach my goals I laid out when I was down 100 (currently down 105!) but I will continue to move forward and hopefully continue to take steps (healthy ones, not the easy way out) to continue to get healthy and move towards my goals for myself...this includes blogging and being a part of a great community. I get so much out of reading everyone else's blog and need to do a better job at commenting because I know how great the support feels..

I will have to end with some pics of my Mom's visit because they are cute and make me happy!!