This title definitely reflects how I am feeling today. Today I was thinking about the fact that I have lost 97 pounds, which I know is significant and a huge accomplishment. I am very proud of myself and feel good about everything but it is sometimes hard to fight the feelings of "so i have lost the amount of weight of almost an entire person and yet I am still overweight and have a lot more to go." ...So often I still feel like the "fat girl" who sticks out when out with others..the girl I have always been weight wise now and 97 pounds ago..on the other hand, sometimes I look at myself and think I have now moved into the "normal size" range (despite being on the very high end), where I blend in and am "normal." Now, I know my weight does not define me and I have never been abnormal when I have been heavier, but I have in many ways felt like I was in the "fat world"...things were just different for me in so many ways (clothes, shopping, sitting comfortably in planes, being able to do physical things, etc. ). In so many ways I have crossed into the normal world yet there are reminders/feelings that still make me feel like I'm in the fat world. I know I might have to fight this for awhile and that nothing happens overnight, but I hope that with each pound, with each NSV I start to feel like I am in the normal range...that I am no longer the fat girl who is fun, nice, and funny with such a pretty face who dresses well for her body type but I am the fun, nice and funny girl who is beautiful all over and feels normal...not beautiful to others, but beautiful to myself.
As I think Maria wrote recently, it is a marathon, not a sprint and the fact that I recognize these feelings and am willing to work on them is a NSV in itself...
PS..wish I looked like that (or will!) in a bikini! haha
I think you have done great...I think when you strive to improve yourself and life regardless of the circumstance you are pushing forward in the greatest way...Your blog is a record of your success and determination...thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteYou've done so awesome with your weight loss. I've heard that the mental aspect of losing weight sometimes takes longer to kick in than the physical part, so I think it's totally normal to feel the way you do.
ReplyDeleteI have often felt like I have lost so much weight (not as much as you!!) but still feel like the biggest girl in my group of friends.. it's frustrating. After all this work, I feel like I should be skinny now, but I'm not. You aren't alone.. but one day we WILL be skinny. And even though we aren't skinny yet, we look a LOT better than we did!!
ReplyDeleteYour body has changed so much; it's only natural that it will take a little while for your mind to catch up. Congrats on your great success!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kristin. I still really struggle with seeing the progress I've made too. The mind will adjust eventually.
ReplyDeleteYou should be so proud of yourself and feel GREAT!!! I can't even imagine how I am going to feel when down that much. I just know how much better I feel being down 29 lbs. Thanks so much for your comment on my blog. I am going to make the lunch in NYC on the 20th and so looking forward to meeting you and fellow bandster bloggers. I love Dos Caminos too. Can taste that margarita already. I assume the one on 3rd and 50th or downtown?
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