So my last post was just a preamble to a bad eating week vs. a start of the end...this week was ridiculous...I was on jury duty for two days and then was traveling for two days...i ate cookies and chocolate almost every day and I did not make healthy choices with food (e.g. fries with my sandwich). I also did no exercise, which is just not going to work, especially with my race coming up. Ended Friday with a Cookie cake for a going away (third cookie cake at work in 2 weeks!). Friday was rough all around because I did not think about what I was eating or the speed, and I pb'd 3 times!!!! unacceptable. first time was at my co worker's going away lunch, where i had to literally bee line to the bathroom, then after the cookie cake back at work and then at dinner that night...whoa!! Not acceptable! there are weeks where I have no issues and then a day where I throw up 3 times! Over the past 2 weeks I think i got a false sense of comfort combined with exhaustion and frustration with a few things that sent me in a tail spin...the scale has definitely moved back up 3 or 4 pounds, which is not going to work...i know some might be water weight, but the other 2 are definitely cookies...
I woke up today though and wanted to fix things...I wanted to get back on track and i have had a great day. Had Starbucks for bfast and then about an hour later a petite vanilla scone (i love those from sbux..not the "BEST" choice but was away from the house and it is controllable with 140 calories). I had coffee while hanging out with my friend niki (who knows about the band) at her apartment and we had the best time gabbing away. Mid coffee, I all of a sudden (forewarn gross info ahead), I had to run to the bathroom and I threw up all these lil food particles..I guess it is stuff that has been sitting at the top of the band not going through? it has happened before with coffee and I'm thinking it was leftover from the crappy day yday. not the best way to start my good day, but am moving on. After Niki's went to Pilates and had a good session, and then I used a gift certificate I had for a facial at La Prarie at the Ritz. it was very enjoyable and relaxing..I love spas and spa bathrooms...the towels, robes, lotions, etc. Plus, they gave champagne today!! After that, went to Bloomingdales to pick up a baby gift for a co worker given it is Friends and Family (20% off!!). While there I decided to peruse some of the clothes...
for those who need motivation, hit the stores!!!! as I was going through, I saw so many things that I really liked (and I no longer even look at plus size!). I still have to be very selective in terms of sizes and styles that I think might work, but it does not stop me from drooling at things that I can't wait to wear one day. It was an additional kick in the butt that I am not where I want to be and i cannot self sabotage. I ended up trying a few things on, knowing that I might need to lose a bit more weight before wearing and as I look for clothes for my vegas trip in two weeks. Well, found 4 great dresses, including dresses from designers that I used to day dream about wearing and never thought possible!! well it is now (not all the way, but for select!!) While two of the dresses need another 10 pounds and one has to be lengthened (bc my legs were not meant for short dresses), it got me excited and motivated.....not just for the clothes, but for me....and I could not pass up an extra 20% off.
also talked to one of my BFFs, MJ, today who knows about this also. She has been such a cheerleader and told me how proud she was of me and it meant a lot. she said most of all what made her happy was that she could hear in my voice i was back to my old self and had a much more positive outlook...losing weight definitely does not make one's life happy but with each pound I have lost I have lost some of the depression, anxiety, fears, etc. that had dampened my spirit...I like feeling like myself again and look forward to continuing my journey to be the best me...
BTW, I found a new apartment!!! (or my lil brother did, who flew in from chicago, took two days off of work to walk the streets of NYC to find me a new home..he is the best!). I'm soo pumped bc right now I live in a fourth floor walk up, so small (maybe 450 square feet), no real living room and only one closet...it is falling apart. My new apartment has a doorman, elevator, a real kitchen, 2 closets!! ahh!! I'm staying in my same neighborhood which I love so I'm pumped..Moving in about a month so will keep everyone updated. my toosh will miss the workout of the four flights but I sure won't when I am lugging suitcases up!!
I have been reading but not really commenting much this week, so look forward to catching up on all the blogs this weekend.
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Congratulations on your apartment-it sounds great.
ReplyDeleteThe sweets at work thing is hard. We have a ton too. I kind of decided at one point that if was really good I would eat it, if not I would pass. So I pass on a lot of grocery store cupcakes and cookies- but every once and awhile it's something good and I have no guilt. It's hard, but eventually you'll find a strategy.
I think part of the journey is knowing how to jump back on the horse after you have had a binge or a couple bad days...You are doing great...I'm excited for your new place...Thank you for your sweet and supportive comments.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the new apartment! As someone who has pounded the streets of New York desperately looking for somewhere to live, I can appreciate the thrill. And your brother is AWESOME.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the PB's. I have the same thing - nothing for three weeks and then a day or two from hell. Hang in there.