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Location:Work
Friday, March 25, 2011
This week is in flames
Need some accountability....how do I go so quickly from being so motivated, pushing forward, eating well and working out to being lazy and eating so much crap?? It has not helped that I have had two root canals in 2 weeks and can't chew a lot, but that does not mean I need to drink milkshakes!!! Oh yes, milkshakes. I have had 4 this week i think...I need to focus ad get back on it stat....stat
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, March 17, 2011
NYC Brunch - Interest in Sisterhood Clothes?
I have a lot of clothes that I need to pass onto the sisterhood..a range of sizes and things, but most are in the 16-18w size range, many pairs of black pants, a few sweaters, jeans, light cardigans, a few casual dresses, etc. I am so behind in trying to take pics/post about it, but I want to pass them on. ...Now, I am not a good mailer..I'm not..but, I'm determined to become one. Until I get a chance to post and then mail everything though, i thought I would see if any of the women attending brunch might have interest in some of these and/or be in that size range I mentioned (you could give me a rough idea of sizes and would want casual or work clothes, tops vs. pants, etc. and I could make a judgement call). I could bring a few things I think might work and if you don't like them, I can bring them back with me. I know a lot of the people coming are way too small for a lot of the things I have but I don't know everyone who is coming...Regardless of this brunch, I WILL get my act together and get things posted and ready to mail asap...
Tracking is starting to help me
So after reading several other people's posts about tracking, and recognizing I needed some more accountability in my nutrition, I have been tracking my food the past three days. I do a post it (I forget who did that that I copied?) and write the calories, protein and fiber..I think I still track the fiber given my WW days. On average, I am trying to eat between 1,000 and 1,250 calories per day and targeting at least 50 grams of protein. I don't have a fiber goal but need one...I am for sure deficient on this!! In terms of my food/meals, I have been pretty consistent this week and feel like I am getting into a groove..here is what the typical day looks like and rough nutrition info (bc my post its are at work):
*grande skim latte (130 cals/13 g prot) @8am
*honey peanut Balance Bar (200 cals/15 g prot) sometime between 10-11:30 -- this feels indulgent to me and I love it! also not too high in carbs (~25?) for a power bar type
*Lunch is sometime between 12:30-1..I get a sandwich (toasted wheat bread, honey maple boars head turkey, avocado mustard and one slice of cheese) and eat half (I also only eat one side of the bread..habit from the low carb diet in HS). It helps to work with mostly men because one of them always eats my other half. I have to have some snacky item with my sandwich, so lately has been 130 calories of baked cheetos. Because I buy my sandwich everyday, I don't know all the details but think it is about 350-400 ish cals and around 20ish grams of protein
*sometimes have a 130 calorie snack of pretzals
*Dinner varies, but have had a turkey burger one night, balance bar another, protien shake tonight
Exercise wise, I went Saturday, Sunday and Monday and feel like I am getting into it. I didn't go Tuesday to today of course for various reasons, but I actually did "want" to go and already signed up for spinning on Sunday and on Saturday am trying the Bar Method class in addition to pilates..hope to go tomorrow as well.
Also, I SIGNED UP FOR THE 5K..it is on April 30th..I'm determined I'm goign to do it..I'm going to do my best to run it all, but no matter what, I will do it and be happy/proud regardless of my running and pace. I'm excited bc my Lil brother is going to do it with me, and my other brother and parents are going to come...Ooh as I type I realize how much I really want to run it all...I'm really going to try hard..
Looking forward to brunch on Sunday!
PS- thanks for the sweet comments on my pics on the last post!
*grande skim latte (130 cals/13 g prot) @8am
*honey peanut Balance Bar (200 cals/15 g prot) sometime between 10-11:30 -- this feels indulgent to me and I love it! also not too high in carbs (~25?) for a power bar type
*Lunch is sometime between 12:30-1..I get a sandwich (toasted wheat bread, honey maple boars head turkey, avocado mustard and one slice of cheese) and eat half (I also only eat one side of the bread..habit from the low carb diet in HS). It helps to work with mostly men because one of them always eats my other half. I have to have some snacky item with my sandwich, so lately has been 130 calories of baked cheetos. Because I buy my sandwich everyday, I don't know all the details but think it is about 350-400 ish cals and around 20ish grams of protein
*sometimes have a 130 calorie snack of pretzals
*Dinner varies, but have had a turkey burger one night, balance bar another, protien shake tonight
Exercise wise, I went Saturday, Sunday and Monday and feel like I am getting into it. I didn't go Tuesday to today of course for various reasons, but I actually did "want" to go and already signed up for spinning on Sunday and on Saturday am trying the Bar Method class in addition to pilates..hope to go tomorrow as well.
Also, I SIGNED UP FOR THE 5K..it is on April 30th..I'm determined I'm goign to do it..I'm going to do my best to run it all, but no matter what, I will do it and be happy/proud regardless of my running and pace. I'm excited bc my Lil brother is going to do it with me, and my other brother and parents are going to come...Ooh as I type I realize how much I really want to run it all...I'm really going to try hard..
Looking forward to brunch on Sunday!
PS- thanks for the sweet comments on my pics on the last post!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Fessin' up to the blues and looking towards the sun
So it has been quite awhile since my last post...definitely a very strong correlation between my mood/spirits and the amount I blog.
These past two weeks have been very tough for me...After an amazing two weekends in a row with my Mom, it was just so tough to see her go. As I have said before, my Mom is my absolute best friend and we just have such a blast together. I don't do things with her because she is my Mom but because she is someone I love to be with, have fun with, am so comfortable with. We are so much alike and are just two peas in a pod. If I am blessed with children one day and am 1/4 of the mother she is, I will be doing great. Anyways, between her leaving, some frustrations at work, some tough family news and horrible hormones (I mean absolutely horrible, like no other month in recent history), I have been very blue and a bit of an emotional roller coaster. It got to the point where I called in sick on Friday because I needed a mental Health Day. I was supposed to have lunch with my boss to celebrate my promotion but I was just not mentally up for it...I'm definitely starting to feel better but it was tough to feel so emotional and blue over the past two weeks given I have generally been feeling so positive and optimistic given this journey (both physical and emotional) journey I have been on. A year ago, these feelings were part of my every day life as I was very depressed..I guess one bright spot of the past two weeks is to realize how far I have come from one year ago and that those feelings came and went versus held me down..Needless to say, I have not been blogging..I have been reading nightly, but I have been lurking and not commenting...this week though is a new week!!
Now, onto some brighter and better...I did not eat my emotions away, which continues to be a good thing for me. I definitely had tremendous cravings but managed them ok (note OK, not well). One thing though that I have definitely noticed is I have not necessarily been eating great.. Dinnerland did a great post about getting back to basics, "working the band" and following the "rules."...such a great reality check. While I have actually lost weight (the scale for the spring challenge was down 5 from last sunday...definitely helped that I was sooo bloated last week..hard to say it is true weight loss as much as unbloating but I'll take it), I think I am not doing in as healthy a way as possible. I definitely believe everyone has their own journey, their own plan that works best for them...At the same time, I know what I should be doing and what works for me. Don't get me wrong, love seeing the scale go down but substituing nutritious, small meals for candy as a meal is just not healthy. luckily this is not a constant event but definitely has been more prevalent over the past two weeks. I am very big into calories and find that works best for me, but I must remember that not all calories are equal. plus, as this is a lifestyle, I must really focus on the overall nutrition and what I am actually putting in my body. I have good days where I definitely focus on protein and nutrition and I need to make these happen more often. I have harped on this before but I also need to SLOW my eating and chew chew chew...I do great out to dinner or in social situations..not great at home and only so/so at work..I think I get tired and lazy and that won't work..i know I can do it and just need to focus as if I am out to eat.
On the exercise front, have not done great but also picked it up a bit this week. Went to the gym three times and did pilates. Have continued spinning (i.e. gone 3x..). Still not loving it but also want to stick with it and I hope that it will get easier and more enjoyable as I do it. Have continued with the C25K program..am very behind but determined to keep going with it, whether I run the road race at the end of April or not.
I don't think I am going to reach my goals I laid out when I was down 100 (currently down 105!) but I will continue to move forward and hopefully continue to take steps (healthy ones, not the easy way out) to continue to get healthy and move towards my goals for myself...this includes blogging and being a part of a great community. I get so much out of reading everyone else's blog and need to do a better job at commenting because I know how great the support feels..
I will have to end with some pics of my Mom's visit because they are cute and make me happy!!
These past two weeks have been very tough for me...After an amazing two weekends in a row with my Mom, it was just so tough to see her go. As I have said before, my Mom is my absolute best friend and we just have such a blast together. I don't do things with her because she is my Mom but because she is someone I love to be with, have fun with, am so comfortable with. We are so much alike and are just two peas in a pod. If I am blessed with children one day and am 1/4 of the mother she is, I will be doing great. Anyways, between her leaving, some frustrations at work, some tough family news and horrible hormones (I mean absolutely horrible, like no other month in recent history), I have been very blue and a bit of an emotional roller coaster. It got to the point where I called in sick on Friday because I needed a mental Health Day. I was supposed to have lunch with my boss to celebrate my promotion but I was just not mentally up for it...I'm definitely starting to feel better but it was tough to feel so emotional and blue over the past two weeks given I have generally been feeling so positive and optimistic given this journey (both physical and emotional) journey I have been on. A year ago, these feelings were part of my every day life as I was very depressed..I guess one bright spot of the past two weeks is to realize how far I have come from one year ago and that those feelings came and went versus held me down..Needless to say, I have not been blogging..I have been reading nightly, but I have been lurking and not commenting...this week though is a new week!!
Now, onto some brighter and better...I did not eat my emotions away, which continues to be a good thing for me. I definitely had tremendous cravings but managed them ok (note OK, not well). One thing though that I have definitely noticed is I have not necessarily been eating great.. Dinnerland did a great post about getting back to basics, "working the band" and following the "rules."...such a great reality check. While I have actually lost weight (the scale for the spring challenge was down 5 from last sunday...definitely helped that I was sooo bloated last week..hard to say it is true weight loss as much as unbloating but I'll take it), I think I am not doing in as healthy a way as possible. I definitely believe everyone has their own journey, their own plan that works best for them...At the same time, I know what I should be doing and what works for me. Don't get me wrong, love seeing the scale go down but substituing nutritious, small meals for candy as a meal is just not healthy. luckily this is not a constant event but definitely has been more prevalent over the past two weeks. I am very big into calories and find that works best for me, but I must remember that not all calories are equal. plus, as this is a lifestyle, I must really focus on the overall nutrition and what I am actually putting in my body. I have good days where I definitely focus on protein and nutrition and I need to make these happen more often. I have harped on this before but I also need to SLOW my eating and chew chew chew...I do great out to dinner or in social situations..not great at home and only so/so at work..I think I get tired and lazy and that won't work..i know I can do it and just need to focus as if I am out to eat.
On the exercise front, have not done great but also picked it up a bit this week. Went to the gym three times and did pilates. Have continued spinning (i.e. gone 3x..). Still not loving it but also want to stick with it and I hope that it will get easier and more enjoyable as I do it. Have continued with the C25K program..am very behind but determined to keep going with it, whether I run the road race at the end of April or not.
I don't think I am going to reach my goals I laid out when I was down 100 (currently down 105!) but I will continue to move forward and hopefully continue to take steps (healthy ones, not the easy way out) to continue to get healthy and move towards my goals for myself...this includes blogging and being a part of a great community. I get so much out of reading everyone else's blog and need to do a better job at commenting because I know how great the support feels..
I will have to end with some pics of my Mom's visit because they are cute and make me happy!!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
This and That
This is a bit of a random post but want to be more frequent, am stuck in the airport because of maintenance issues on the plane, have a few things to say, and I know how to do bullet points on blog press (unlike the regular site -- would love to know how to do that!!)
•First, thank you SO MUCH for your kind words, encouragement and support of reaching 100. It truly meant a lot to me....
•Over the last 2 days, I have not been eating well... Not sure if I was "rewarding myself" for reaching 100 or what but I had a bit of a binge on snack size peppermint patties last night (5)... While not terrible vs the old days of pizza or a box of cookie binge, it is still a binge and not driven by true hunger. I want/need to rev up motivation to continue.. I know everyone has off days, so will come back
•I had the Best weekend... My mom came in town and we had a blast. We are two peas in a pod and have so much fun doing nothing! We saw Driving Miss Daisy on broadway (Fab!!), went shopping, saw a movie an had some great meals. We went for a celebratory dinner for my promotion to Park Avenue, a restaurant that changes its menu and decor with the season... Was great! Shopping was great too bc while not perfect in each outfit, I am pretty nearly a solid 16 and I got a pair of pants that were a 12 (totally ran so big and was like a 16, but I prefer the 12 number!). I will post some cute pics of us when at home... My mom is stunning and looks like my sister I think..
•I have been thinking a lot about exercise and how I need to get into a routine... If I am going to make this a life change, that will be important. I am inspired by all of your working out and I want to catch the bug. I never posted about spinning but I didnt love it, was still intimidated and it was hard but I will go back and I know it will get better with regularity.. Instead of just talking about exercise, my plan is to do cardio at least twice by Sunday and get back to 3 times a week... Need to make it a habit...I have decided I will not reward myself with a trainer ( which it is a reward given the cost) until I show consistency with cardio
•Had a reminder today that despite being 10 months banded, it is easy to slip into old habits. When we landed in Omaha, we had about 35 minutes to order and eat lunch... Of course, the people I am with are scarfing. I forget I have just come off a long flight, which will make me tight, and I rush to eat with everyone. I hadn't even eaten 1/4 of my turkey sandwich (sans bread) before I got stuck and sick... Les mis! Had to excuse myself several times. Luckily I was with all men so they didnt really notice
•So my drivers liscense has a picture of me from sophomore year in college... I look horrible, no makeup and huge(I happened to remember when I got it and had had a big night out the evening before... Was a fun night though!) Needless to say, not flattering but I deal because I don't want to have to get a NY liscense and like my southern one! I have gotten several second looks when checking in at the airport recently, but today the guy said "Congratulations on your weight loss!" a compliment I know, but awkward at the same time....might need to work on updating that
•lastly, I am SOOO pumped for the NY brunch and seeing some familiar and many new faces. I really am so excited...
Ok, this novel needs to end....Still delayed and probably going to be for awhile....PS, what is the best way to read blogs on an iPhone?? When I go to my dashboard, it only shows the last 2 posts...any guidance would be appreciated...
Hope everyone is having a good week!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
•First, thank you SO MUCH for your kind words, encouragement and support of reaching 100. It truly meant a lot to me....
•Over the last 2 days, I have not been eating well... Not sure if I was "rewarding myself" for reaching 100 or what but I had a bit of a binge on snack size peppermint patties last night (5)... While not terrible vs the old days of pizza or a box of cookie binge, it is still a binge and not driven by true hunger. I want/need to rev up motivation to continue.. I know everyone has off days, so will come back
•I had the Best weekend... My mom came in town and we had a blast. We are two peas in a pod and have so much fun doing nothing! We saw Driving Miss Daisy on broadway (Fab!!), went shopping, saw a movie an had some great meals. We went for a celebratory dinner for my promotion to Park Avenue, a restaurant that changes its menu and decor with the season... Was great! Shopping was great too bc while not perfect in each outfit, I am pretty nearly a solid 16 and I got a pair of pants that were a 12 (totally ran so big and was like a 16, but I prefer the 12 number!). I will post some cute pics of us when at home... My mom is stunning and looks like my sister I think..
•I have been thinking a lot about exercise and how I need to get into a routine... If I am going to make this a life change, that will be important. I am inspired by all of your working out and I want to catch the bug. I never posted about spinning but I didnt love it, was still intimidated and it was hard but I will go back and I know it will get better with regularity.. Instead of just talking about exercise, my plan is to do cardio at least twice by Sunday and get back to 3 times a week... Need to make it a habit...I have decided I will not reward myself with a trainer ( which it is a reward given the cost) until I show consistency with cardio
•Had a reminder today that despite being 10 months banded, it is easy to slip into old habits. When we landed in Omaha, we had about 35 minutes to order and eat lunch... Of course, the people I am with are scarfing. I forget I have just come off a long flight, which will make me tight, and I rush to eat with everyone. I hadn't even eaten 1/4 of my turkey sandwich (sans bread) before I got stuck and sick... Les mis! Had to excuse myself several times. Luckily I was with all men so they didnt really notice
•So my drivers liscense has a picture of me from sophomore year in college... I look horrible, no makeup and huge(I happened to remember when I got it and had had a big night out the evening before... Was a fun night though!) Needless to say, not flattering but I deal because I don't want to have to get a NY liscense and like my southern one! I have gotten several second looks when checking in at the airport recently, but today the guy said "Congratulations on your weight loss!" a compliment I know, but awkward at the same time....might need to work on updating that
•lastly, I am SOOO pumped for the NY brunch and seeing some familiar and many new faces. I really am so excited...
Ok, this novel needs to end....Still delayed and probably going to be for awhile....PS, what is the best way to read blogs on an iPhone?? When I go to my dashboard, it only shows the last 2 posts...any guidance would be appreciated...
Hope everyone is having a good week!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Location:Omaha Airport
Sunday, February 20, 2011
100 Down!!!!!
Almost 10 months to the day of my surgery, I have now lost 100 lbs. I have to be honest, I have been reading a lot of blogs and know some people are struggling (which, despite the number today, I have so been there), so I debated doing a celebratory post but it is something I need to celebrate and I know that everyone is supportive and they too will have their day and I will be so excited for that!!
It is funny, leading up to this day, I wondered how I would feel at 100 down...what a big number ( the size of some of my friends!), what an accomplishment. I do feel proud of myself because I know I have worked hard, but most of all, I just feel happier in life in general. I still have down days and tough times, but I no longer have to fight to get myself out of bed, having to face a day where I don't know what I will wear to hide all my "sins" or what I can possibly find that will be comfortable. I don't just feel like the fat girl who everyone is looking at...I don't feel the need to hide my food for fear of people wondering "i can't believe she is eating that. I no longer have nightmares about business trips and ask my mom/dad to pray that I will fit into my airplane seat on the regional flight for my business trip tomorrow so my colleagues don't see. I also no longer hide my seat belt bc I can't buckle it and I fear the stewardess will see it...I show my seat belt with pride! I don't fear squeezing into a subway seat or train. I can walk with my co workers to a meeting and hold a discussion without getting winded. I don't have plantar fascitis anymore. My back has started to improve. My snoring (which had really gotten bad and upset me and also led to hurt feelings when I was with some of my girlfriends on a trip) has lessened significantly and I no longer will worry about who I sleep with in a room or will I keep them up. I am starting to see bones in my hands and feet that I didn't know were there! My nice watch which I hadn't been able to fit in is now too loose. I no longer go out at night and hope to hide from everyone as I now think it could be possible for someone to find me attractive or hit on me...I am starting to really love shopping..I no longer only look at the shoes or accessories in the regular sizes or run to hide in the women's department...
These are only some of the things that come to mind for me, and some are more surfacey but I really cannot tell you how much better I feel emotionally, physically and psychologically. I am still the same me...outgoing, humorous, talkative, etc...and I was happy before and had a great life, but my weight had really started to cloud my happiness and was hindering me living my life...I am now a happier and more confident me, and I really feel like I have so much life ahead of me....
I have come very far, but I have still have more to go! As happy and proud as I am, I want more and I need more..I am still overweight and have room to go, but I will do it. I want to do it and I am worth doing it for. I have had ups and downs and will have more to come, but I can get through this. When I get to my "goal", which I'm still not sure what that is, will my all my life issues/wants be fixed, no..but I will be in a place that I can feel great and confident as i work towards fixing those issues and finding those wants... I have updated my goals on the side of my blog, which I feel/recognize are quite lofty and not necessarily realistic, but that is what a goal is sometimes...
Thanks to the entire blogging community for the example, support and wisdom..whether reading blogs and thinking "that's exactly how I feel" or receiving a nice comment, this has been such a special outlet for me...
And to my inner circle who knows about this journey..how could i ever thank you for your love, support and cheers..Mom, Dad, Bri, Sean, Mar, Nik, MJ and Gma...it was a tough decision to do this, to tell anyone and put this level of trust in that was so important to me (and asking you not to tell your significant others, which I know is a lot to ask), but you all have been the greatest cheerleaders a girl could ask for...Our season is far from over, but as Gpa O'B would say, I will keep five-yarding them to death..
PS. for anyone who is reading this and is early on in their journey or contemplating doing this...Yes, it is so worth it. It is honestly the BEST decision I have ever made for myself..I have no regrets.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Big NSV for me!
I ran out to Macys tonight as I am desperate for another suit to wear to meetings/work. While having clothes become too big is such an awesome feeling, realizing you don't have a suit to wear to a meeting at 5:45am when you are getting picked up at 6am for a flight is not a great feeling.
I ran out to Macys around 7:30 tonight...my safe store that has a very large women's section. My only suit left that is still wearable (though sports wings in the thigh area) is a 16w. Having taken a hiatus from shopping this past month, I really haven't tried on clothes for awhile. I went to the women's floor and went to the suit sale rack. I didn't want to spend a lot bc I hope to not be in the suit too long. I found 2 grey suits in a 14w and 2 16w bc I wasn't sure the 14w would fit. the 14W suits were light grey, which is a color that never was super flattering versus the dark blues or blacks which hid sins better. When in the fitting room, I tried on the first 14w, and it was big!! it def still fit and would work, but it was obviously a bit big. I thought it was a fluke, a suit that runs big, so I tried on the other 14w..SAME thing!! I almost fainted. given the store was closing in 30 mins I decided to run to the misses floor. As I went to floor 5, I felt lost because it had been so long since I had been to this floor/area...I quickly found the sale suits and grabbed a few 16s and 18s bc again I just didn't know. Well, the 16 FIT!!! there was no manuvering or anything to get it on..it fit and wasn't TIGHT! I could have fainted/cried right there!!! such a great feeling!!! I don't think I am necessarrily going to be a regular size in everything but this was such a big victory for me...
Hope everyone had a great weekend!!!
I ran out to Macys around 7:30 tonight...my safe store that has a very large women's section. My only suit left that is still wearable (though sports wings in the thigh area) is a 16w. Having taken a hiatus from shopping this past month, I really haven't tried on clothes for awhile. I went to the women's floor and went to the suit sale rack. I didn't want to spend a lot bc I hope to not be in the suit too long. I found 2 grey suits in a 14w and 2 16w bc I wasn't sure the 14w would fit. the 14W suits were light grey, which is a color that never was super flattering versus the dark blues or blacks which hid sins better. When in the fitting room, I tried on the first 14w, and it was big!! it def still fit and would work, but it was obviously a bit big. I thought it was a fluke, a suit that runs big, so I tried on the other 14w..SAME thing!! I almost fainted. given the store was closing in 30 mins I decided to run to the misses floor. As I went to floor 5, I felt lost because it had been so long since I had been to this floor/area...I quickly found the sale suits and grabbed a few 16s and 18s bc again I just didn't know. Well, the 16 FIT!!! there was no manuvering or anything to get it on..it fit and wasn't TIGHT! I could have fainted/cried right there!!! such a great feeling!!! I don't think I am necessarrily going to be a regular size in everything but this was such a big victory for me...
Hope everyone had a great weekend!!!
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