Catching up for the last several days since I have been out of town..
So, after my first good day at work, I went back on Tuesday. All was good eating wise, breakfast and lunch, that is until....Dinner...Tuesday was very busy and I knew I was going to have to work late to get some drafts going for my team before I was out. So, I ordered dinner...I was craving egg salad, so I ordered an egg salad sandwich sans the bread. I also decided I would have a bite of mashed potatoes (and only have a few bites). So, once my food arrived, I decided I would have a few bites of potatoes first (in retrospect, not only did I not make the best food choices, but I also should have started the protien first!). I have been practicing my eating rules, so I don't drink while i eat. As i slowly took a few bites of mashies, someone called and then someone else started asking questions. as I was looking through my emails and asnwering the questions, I fell into old habits..I was taking bites of potatoes and not thinking..last thing I remember is taking a sip of my drink...all of a sudden...I felt like I was going to vomit..I got up quickly and ran to the bathroom and threw up a little (only the drink i had just had)..this is what they call "PB-ing" or as my Surgeon said "throwing up in your mouth." Needless to say it was such an unpleasant feeling and I was so upset. It was not something I was cognizant of or a choice to go against the program...From there on, I had this "stuck feeling" where it felt like the food was stuck and it was very uncomfortable. Needless to say it was emotionally upsetting too and I got distracted and didn't leave work until 12:30 that night. In addition to being uncomfortable physically, I was also very worried that I had hurt my band somehow...I was very glad that my post-op appointment was the next day...It was a wake up call though that it is easy to slip up..stop being cognizant...and it is something that reminds me that I must make a change...and it is so important
So..the next morning I went to my post-op appointment. While I was waiting I wrote down all my questions, concerns, etc. It was a pretty long list and as I was talking with my surgeon, I could tell I was coming off very paranoid. I told my doctor about the situation and she said that while it is not exciting and she doesn't tell most people this, but people in my type of job might be best off having soup or protien shakes when eating at work..and I think she has a good point...in addition, perhaps it is something where I need to just bring my dinner..it means a lot more planning...so, my post op appt went well and I had my questions answered...My Dr. said I should have liquids for the next day to help relieve my discomfort. Also got a note for the plane so I could bring on liquids (i had my protien shakes with me).. Also, my incisions looked good. ..most exciting, I was down 35 pounds from when I weighed in January at the office...it has been tough because i have been on different scales but this was a same scale..so, i think 35 from January and ~27 from start of the pre-surgery diet.
So, i had prepped for this trip per my previous posts and was happy to have my note and protien shakes. well, that was until i got to security and the guy told me I couldn't take anything through and that "a lot of people have notes." I then started to cry (was tired and a bit emotional) and the guy said "crying won't help you." What an Ass..he finally let me bring in two of my four but it was still unpleasant..once I got on the plane, big NSV..the Seatbelt fit comfortably on and I had room to spare!!woo hoo. that was definitely a good feeling...and, I slept the whole flight and felt better when I arrived, so i was happy. Once I got to the hotel, I ordered soup from room service so I could eat before the event that night..as I'm eating the soup in this beautiful hotel, I lean over to pick something up and...sooo embarrasing I could die..the chair broke...now while I was embarrased and mortified (more so writing on this than when it happened) I think my victories and decision to start this new life enabled me not too cry (a huge NSV..still very upsetting but I have to move forward). I just have to think it was a crappy chair becase I have never broke one in my life! Also, the soup didn't sit very well so unfortunately it didn't fill me up before the event.
So, I got ready for the charity event and off we went. I decided not to drink at the event so just had water. the event was actually really cool because it was in the new Cowboys Stadium and the tables were set up on the field..I sat on the 45 yard line! So when I got there, I asked if they could serve some soup but they said it would be an hour so I said don't worry about it (i had called earlier for help on what they were serving, to no avail..). So, first course was a salad..it had about 4 cherry tomatoes, cucumbers and lettuce. I had about two grape tomatoes and a few bites of cucumber with dressing on it to help. and, i took very small points and didn't drink with it. for the main course, it was a split plate of steak and flaky white fish (wooo hoo..ideal for a banded person!). they also had twice baked potatoes and veggies. I had about 1/4 of the fish, several bites of the mashies and a piece of veggies..again, all very slow and small bites..by the end, it still looked I had barely ate, but I was satisfied. the dessert trio came and I had a lil whipped cream which was good...so, a BIG SUCCESS!!! I was very happy!!! That night I had a glass of wine back at the hotel with my colleagues (half a glass) and it was good. Today, I got up and went to a breakfast and had some eggs with salsa and a few bites of potato...overall a good trip, but I was tired. Once back in NY, I ended up having to eat at work again tonight..but, this time I was prepared. I ordered grilled fish and a side salad. I had the two cherry tomatoes, a lil cucumber and three pieces of lettuce cuts into pieces with dressing..then had about half of the fish..i ate very slow, took small bites and it was delish..I' proud of myself..I came back from it..
The experience also gave me confidence about having to eat out...while I am really working on not going out to dinner/ordering, I know I can get through it. I'm supposed to go to dinner with a group of girls tomorrow night and I am going to be fine..I will eat a lil bit and be fine! Other than that, I am planning on relaxing, finalizing my fitting for my bridesmaid dress for Niki's wedding and hopefully get a lil facial..woo hoo!!!
thanks for the continued love, support and prayers..
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