I have had a great weekend...I am really starting to feel a bit back to my old self (personality/emotionally) after an 8 month coma if you will..I'm just generally happier, starting to feel more comfortable (while still feeling huge) and am doing better dealing with my emotions..I still have a long way to go, but I feel like I am making some progress..
Following my dinner out on Tues and support group on Wed, I had a dinner on Thursday with two people from work (my old and current Analyst) because the current Analyst is moving to London...Luckily, we got out at 6:30 so we went to dinner early, and it was right under my apt..woo hoo! but, it was a paella place so not the best food choices...I tried to eat the fish and not as much rice, but I didn't do great. Now, I do have to give myself some credit that my "not great" now is about half the size of my old portions, but still not as well as I would like to be. On Friday, work was fine..fairly slow and I got to leave early around 6. didn't have a great lunch, a sandwich that has some chipotle mayo on it, but whenever I have a sandwich, I only eat half the bread..that is something that I used to do in the past when I have dieted and is something that has helped me so far. On Friday night, I came home and relaxed/chilled..Fridays are so hard because the week has been so stressful..I watched a movie (Dear John..not that good). I ordered from this healthy/organic place for dinner..I got a personal pizza (basically on a tortilla with low sodium tomato sauce and cheese). I got turkey burger and onions on mine. for dinner, I really focused on eating slowly and chewing. well, after about 30 mins I was full and satisfied, and I had only eaten half of the pizza (again, think tortilla sized). so, I put it away and was happy...it is amazing how much better it is when I am slow and focused on eating...it is tough at work, but that is my life and I will have to try to eat slower. At work though, when I go and get lunch with my Analyst, he is always done about 15 mins before me which is good...
On Saturday, I went to Pilates for my second session..I really, really enjoyed it. A lot of breathing, thinking and stretching but I liked it. It also felt therapeutic with all the breathing. after that, I ran a few errands and then came home and took a nap (devine!). Last night I met up with my friend Brooke (old room ate) for dinner. We had not seen each other for at least 3 or so months, as I wasn't really feeling up to doing anything..well, I felt like myself last night and we had a great time catching up..it was wonderful. we sat outside and it was a beautiful night with some nice white wine. We got some hummus/yogurt for app (i had a small bite of bread with it) and then we both got salmon with salad for dinner. she is a very healthy eater, so it was good. I had maybe 1/3 of the salmon and salad..she remarked on how little I ate, but I was very satisfied..she also noticed how I was eating slower (i used to lap her when we would eat together!). She didn't notice I had lost weight (or didn't say anything if she did) but again, I hadn't been with her in a long time, so I was ok with that. I brought my salmon home with me so I could have for dinner Sunday night..
Today, I woke up way too early as I didn't sleep well last night. I then met my friend Abbey for brunch..Abbey lives in Boston for now (her husband is in Biz school there) but her husband is interning in the city for the summer..Abbey is 10 weeks pregnant so it was so great to see her..we had kept in touch somewhat, but given my funk, I had not really been great about it. well, she could tell in my face that I was more like myself and could tell I had lost weight (she saw me Januaryish)..anyways, it was a great time..I had an egg sandwich (egg and cheese) and again took off half the bread and took the bread with less cheese on it. I added a lil pesto to it which I think is not great, but overall, I felt good about it..
After lunch, i went to look at 2 apartments..I am still searching for an apt, but it is not a super intense search (which it needs to be). I have started to slightly toy with the idea of buying a place, so I actually looked at two apts for sale (in the same building)..it is Sooo crazy how much something costs for such little space..less than 600 square feet!!! the apartments were ok, but I did not love them for that price...plus, it is scary to think about being on the hook for everything (repairs, etc.) it was fun to look though...after that, i rushed home because it was sweltering outside and I wanted to get in the AC...
Have been home for about an hour watching the world cup, and all I can think about is food/being hungry..After not having great week, I weighed this Am and liked the number..I have a feeling I am nearing the time of the month and am bloated (please let's hope so), so am hoping I might be lower. Anyways, I started craving wings..yes, wings..something I never order, don't love, etc..maybe something about sports and wings?? so, I ordered them..i thought, just a few, it will be ok..then, i thought to myself, why are you doing this? you are tired, a bit bored...I also read other people's blogs (one of my favorite things to do now) and that helped....I knew I didn't really want the wings. while I did want them, I realized they were not worth seeing the scale go higher and I called the place back to cancel. they said they had already made them but would check (i was going to tell them to charge me but don't deliver them)..they ended up saying no problem, so that was great...
after that incident, I decided to blog because then I could put what I did in writing and would be accountable so that I didn't order something again..I was/am embarrassed to post it (yes, all my secrets are out) but I guess this is what it is for..I went out to dinner/brunch, did great and did not feel deprived at all..that is a way of living my life while still trying to lose weight...ordering wings at 3pm on a Sunday when you are not hungry is sabotage...I will continue to fight it as hard as I can..
i need to get back to the gym this week...that is one of my goals...
Also, Happy Happy Father's Day to my wonderful Dad!! thanks for all your love and support (he is an active follower!)
Also, SOOO pumped because Mary is coming to visit me this coming weekend..I can't WAIT!!!
off to clean a bit and nap (let's be honest, nap..)...
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