Tired, too much sushi and NYU support group

So, I went to the NYU support group tonight..it is hosted by my Doctor's office (with supervision from a social worker) and is held once a month for banders that are 1-12 months out. Now, it was 6-7:30. While I was slammed at work, I decided to leave and go to the group because I wanted to give it a try...it was ok...I can't say that I will likely go again. Everyone was nice, but some of the people in the group talked too much (i feel like they wanted to hear themselves speak) and I think I get just as much out of reading the Lap band forum and other people's blogs...the one nice thing was that we had to introduce ourselves, saying when we were banded and how we were doing..it was nice to get the applause I have to say..though, after a bad night of eating and today, I wasn't feeling stellar..

So, the past two days have not been great eating wise..I have been distracted by other things and have not been paying as much attention to my food and hunger. Last night I went out to dinner..I was exhausted but I did not want to cancel. While we went to sushi and I think I made fairly wise choices, I found myself not really thinking as I was eating, processing, chewing enough, small bites, etc. I just was tired and forgot about what I was doing..I just zoned out. while I didn't have any repercussions from the eating (i.e. pb'ing, etc.), I was upset after..and then, of course I couldn't resist Pinkberry after..I wish I had just said that I wasn't interested..not a disaster, but not what I want to do when I have momentum. I really don't love eating in a social setting right now...it will change as I get more comfortable with everything, but right now it is tough. of course I have social plans revolving around meals every day until Sunday...but, I am determined and will have to correct my behaviors..I ate ok today, breakfast and lunch wise. For dinner, after I raced back to work following the support group, I ordered seared tuna and edamame fro a sushi restaurant. the tuna started to wired me out so I only ate half. I ate all the eddies..while they are good protein, way too much sodium on the pods on the outside...I ended up still being a bit hungry and not satisfied..I have fought the desire to eat more (more head hunger, frustration than real hunger I think)...i have literally been thinking about things I could eat (most healthy) and have been fighting the urges..in my weakness I did have a 100 calorie pack of cookies..I can't say I really even enjoyed them..while not deadly, it was a more emotional eating than really hungry. it is too late (near midnight) to eat that stuff...You know, I am going to have good and bad days and this was a bad..I have to remember a lifelong process and not give up. I have to be honest though, it is tough..while I realize emotional eating was a way to numb myself, was harmful to me and didn't solve any issues, it is something that is very, very hard to conquer...it is a comfort blanket that has now left me exposed and cold..having to face realities that are not always fun...But, all part of my growing process...

So, I'm hoping for a better day tomorrow and need to really be aware of everything..especially following the rules (i have been drinking with meals)..I am realzing that as I get more restriction, the rules are going to be more and more important...